Last Friday, I happily got to enjoy spreading my cancer journey with many people who have also been victims of cancer, whether it has affected them by being diagnosed personally or even just mentally by watching a loved one going through the hardships of cancer at their side. In the end, it is all the same, we are all victims of cancer and the division it tries to create in relationships. However, this event showed me a lot about strength, especially together. Even if you knew nothing about the person standing next to you, you knew that they have dealt with the same pain as you have caused by a terrible disease. The OSU Relay for Life Luminaria Ceremony was amazing in that it was my first speaking event where I was more surrounded by others who have dealt with the many side effects of cancer as it has to my family and I. Whereas, the first time I shared my story, it was mainly with college volunteers who were at The James to make blankets for the inpatients living there. One event did not hold more meaning to me than the other one because any opportunity I get to share my story affects me a little differently every time. However, the emotion that stiffened the air at the Luminaria Ceremony really hit me (and my family) pretty hard. Yet, I also felt so much stronger speaking out in a way I hadn't before. I didn't cry mid speech this time which is NOT a bad thing but makes me feel weaker than the steady front I would rather put on. For once, I felt like the sturdy shoulder to cry on.
After some other speakers and I were finished with our speeches (centered around the theme H-honor, O-optimism, P-perseverance, and E-encouragement or H.O.P.E) began the snapping of the glow sticks. The entire football field went dark and completely silent making the glow sticks that much more powerful to hear when everyone eventually snapped their stick for someone they loved who they were honoring/celebrating or remembering. Snapping my glow stick was definitely eye opening and a memory I think I'll always come back to. I profoundly remember pausing because the speaker had said, “If you are a survivor of cancer, please snap your glow stick,” and I was thinking wow that’s really me. I’m fighting and surviving against cancer. I don’t think it had really hit me like that until that moment on that dark field. It was so quiet when I snapped my glow stick and only a few others had snapped theirs with me and maybe then I felt kind of alone but by the end everyone had snapped their sticks (for a friend, parent, sibling) and I knew I was not alone at all. We all knew what we were going through. Everyone then walked around the football field to light up Luminaria bags (decorated with names on them, celebrating those who are still hear and those that we have unfortunately loss). I don’t have the words to explain the energy that was flowing from stranger to stranger while walking around that field together and is really just something you have to experience for yourself. I know that whether or not I speak for that specific event again, I want to try to be there every year to give whatever strength and support that I have to the people that need it more. It was an honor to be a speaker at this event and leaning on each other like we should really be doing more of in this world. I can honestly say the more I do this, the more my heart swells for the people around me.
On a side note, in my last blog, I explained that my protein levels in my liver were low/abnormal but I am excited to announce that they are back up and normal! So, for now, the coast is clear!
Now, another silly side note was that, of course, clumsy me I had managed to hurt my foot leaving the ceremony and gave my mother a heart attack in the process! The next morning, we went to the ER just to make sure everything was fine since I could put no pressure on it at all. Except, coincidentally, the same exact doctor (Dr. Delatore) that diagnosed me with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia over a year ago now, was the one taking care of my foot. It took me a minute to remember him but he knew me right away and what ER room number I was in as if it had just happened yesterday. It honestly made my weekend that much better though because even in pain it felt like a great sign that I was heading in the right path. A year ago, I was there with him for my cancer diagnosis and this time I was there just to check my sprained foot. I never would have thought I would have made it this far around this time last year and seeing his smile again like he knew all along that I was going to make it wrapped up a very special weekend. He also contacted me via phone to my ER nurse (Jill White) from that hard day who I had made a deep connection with (she named her racing bicycle after me) and that also gave me many happy vibes to carry with me now and in the future.
Luminaria Speech (sorry for the low quality, lights were completely out! click for full screen):
Photos from over the weekend (click to enlarge):
Well that was my eventful weekend! Stay tuned for next weeks blog!
Love Ivy, XOXO